We open on the Lannister forces, lugging their Highgarden loot towards King’s Landing. Jaime’s still burning from Olenna’s epic last words, but at least he has carts full of gold to show for it. Bronn’s dirty about not being paid what he was promised because he doesn’t have a castle yet. Jaime tells him to […]
It’s a dark and stormy night on Dragonstone – and someone get Dany a juicy horse heart, because this girl is HANGRY. Or hormonal. Or possessed by the vengeful spirit of Viserys. Either way, Varys cops it – Dany’s decided to grill the Spider about his fickle loyalties. Surely they would’ve had this conversation earlier, […]
It’s D-day in King’s Landing, and the big players are getting ready for the trial of the century. The opening scenes are almost entirely silent, except for the ominous clanging of the Sept’s bell…which is clearly tolling for a truckload of people given it’s the finale and the death count in King’s Landing has been […]
Let me preface by saying that I could use a good cup of tea with a double-vodka chaser, an entire pack of chewable antacids and perhaps a heart transplant, because mine exploded from stress somewhere between Jon galloping for Rickon and the Knights of the Vale arriving à la Riders of Rohan. And maybe a […]
We open in Bravos, where we last saw Arya staggering through a crowded marketplace, bleeding profusely from substantial Waif-inflicted stab wounds. But now we’re here to watch that play. Again. Is it just me, or has a good chunk of Season 6 felt kind of like calling for your favourite pizza but getting repeatedly placed on hold and forced to […]
We open in bizarro Westeros, where the sun is shining, the fields are green, and clean, cheerful people are working together in harmony to construct some sort of house of worship. Even the music is uncharacteristically uplifting, evoking a sense of hope and the possibility of a better future. It stirs something deep within your […]
We open on the Wall, where Sansa is catching up on her sewing. It’s so hard to juggle needlework with escaping your psychopathic husband and raising an army to take back the North. A raven arrives and it’s from Littlefinger, who wants to catch up for coffee in Mole’s Town. The scene that follows is basically Sansa […]
We open on Ser Davos ogling Kit Harington’s naked body. Cut to the (magnificent) back view as Jon Snow literally rises from the dead. Kit Harington does a really lovely job conveying Jon Snow’s shock and how he even has to get the hang of breathing again. Then he looks at his chest wounds and […]
Previously on Game of Thrones: Jon Snow got dead, Walda Frey got pregnant, Ramsay got told off by daddy, Sansa and Theon got free, Arya got beaten up, Daenerys’ fleet got burny, the dragons got chained up and Bran got his warg on. Cue the music: Nyaah, nyaah, nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah, nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah–nah-you get the drill. We open […]
